“I Should Be Able to Handle This Myself”: Myths That Keep People From Getting Support

Many people who struggle with anxiety, low mood, grief, or burnout never reach out for help. According to SAMHSA’s 2024 national survey results, among the 61.5 million U.S. adults with any mental illness in the past year, 52.1% received mental health treatment. That means nearly half did not. Behind those numbers are often quiet beliefs that sound reasonable but aren’t true. Here are five common myths and what the research says.

Myth 1: “Strong People Handle Things on Their Own”

A preference for self-reliance is common, and it often looks like a virtue. A systematic review in BMC Psychiatry found that young people named stigma and embarrassment, trouble recognizing symptoms, and a preference for self-reliance as the most important barriers to seeking help. The same review found that positive past experiences and encouragement from other people helped them reach out.

Asking for support doesn’t mean you’ve failed at coping. It can be a skill in itself. Many people use therapy the way they’d use a coach or a specialist: to get tools they haven’t learned yet.

Myth 2: “My Problems Aren’t Serious Enough”

You don’t need to be in crisis to benefit. The National Institute of Mental Health’s guide to deciding if you need help suggests a simple test: notice how much your symptoms interfere with daily life. For mild symptoms that have lasted less than two weeks, it recommends self-care such as exercise, sleep, and talking with someone you trust. It adds that if symptoms don’t improve or get worse despite those efforts, you should talk to a health care provider. Symptoms lasting two weeks or more, such as trouble sleeping, trouble concentrating, or losing interest in things you usually enjoy, are a signal to seek professional help.

In other words, if you’ve been trying to handle it yourself and it isn’t working, that is enough reason to reach out.

Myth 3: “People Will Judge Me”

This fear is real, and research backs it up. A systematic review in Psychological Medicine found that stigma was the fourth highest ranked barrier to help-seeking, and worry about disclosure was the most commonly reported stigma barrier. It also found that ethnic minorities, youth, men, and people in military and health professions were disproportionately deterred by stigma.

Stigma can also come from inside. The Mayo Clinic’s article on overcoming the stigma of mental illness notes that you shouldn’t let the fear of being labeled stop you from seeking help, and you shouldn’t isolate yourself. Starting with one trusted person can make the next step easier. Therapy is also confidential.

Myth 4: “Therapy Doesn’t Really Work”

The evidence says otherwise. In 2012, the American Psychological Association’s Council of Representatives adopted a resolution that is summarized by APA Division 29. It concluded that psychotherapy is effective and highly cost-effective, with benefits that markedly exceed those of people who need services but don’t receive therapy. Therapy doesn’t work like a switch, and it takes effort and a good fit with your therapist. But skills like noticing thoughts, setting boundaries, and calming your body are learnable.

Myth 5: “Online Therapy Isn’t Real Therapy”

If you have a busy schedule, or a long commute, virtual care can remove obstacles. A meta-analysis of randomized trials comparing video-based and in-person therapy found that video psychotherapy was roughly comparable in efficacy to in-person therapy for reducing depressive symptoms. The researchers concluded that it can be a feasible and effective alternative. The best format is the one you will actually attend.

Small First Steps

You don’t have to commit to anything big on day one. Some low-pressure ways to begin:

• Write down what’s been weighing on you, even in a few sentences.

• Tell one trusted person that you’re thinking about getting support.

• Check your coverage. Our Insurance and Fees page answers questions about cost, scheduling, and what to expect.